Red Angry Bird

Our first contestant, the bird you get first in Angry Birds, is Mr. Red. We speculate that he might actually be a Blue-throated Brown Sunbird, or perhaps Gould’s Sunbird. From the round, rotund shape of his body, we definitely know it’s from Aethopyga:

Is the red angry bird actually a sunbird?

The Angry Blue Splitters

The blue flycatcher known as Plumbeous Water-redstart, or red-tailed robin, is a kind of water bird which loves to feed on insects. They are territorial and have a red tail, a flash of contrasting colours:

What a beautiful bluebird!

The Yellow Bird

I think this is most like a baby Martin Branch Swallow, with its yellow coloration, angry face, and wide beak. In fact, the swallows and the triangle of the “little yellow bird” have something in common, a certain “hard acceleration” property. Swallows have one of the best flying air technique of all the birds, by far the fastest.

Fly fast, yellow Swallows!

Fat Black Bird

Perfectly coal black, the Common Blackbird is definitely the model for Angry Birds. The real life bird is notable for mimicry of other sounds, and is a sly trixster.

Serious business, the Blackbird

White Egg-Bomber

The white angry bird which drops explosive eggs is probably a Snow Bunting, a sort of mottled white and brown bird which lives in naturally cold climes. Sometimes they’re called “snowflake.”

Or maybe it’s a Chicken, IDK

Pictures and the idea from 如果愤怒的小鸟要拍电影; we thought it worth bringing some of the concept to English too.

“power corrupls absolule power corrupls absolulely”

Made by Kim, a Pennsylvania native, this post shows a surprising lack of the letter “t”. Basic letter frequency analysis shows that almost all missing Ts have been replaced with Ls. Curious as to why this might be, I sent her the following message:

Hi Kim, I saw your post about the book the Lucifer Effect (www.facebook.com/pages/The-Lucifer-Effect/106010182772704) and noticed that you write without any of the letter “t”. Broken keyboard, or is it something about that letter? Just curious, Elliott

And then I got a reply! Actually, a series of them!

broken keyboard although some days t shows upt i didnt gettur other message tried to get on friends list butt would not allow me was curious of what u wrote today t s just keep coming crazy

lhanks no 2 day

i am very curious on message i somehow losl whal did iil say

And I ended this bit of oddness with:

Aww–no worries. Good luck with the broken keyboard!

Q. And the term “rickroll” you said it tries to make people go to a site where they think it is going to be one thing, but it is a video of Rick Astley, is that right?
A. Yes.
Q. He was some kind of singer?
A. Yes.
Q. It’s a joke?
A. Yes.

You should just be happy I don’t autoplay this:

Just plug your SnūzNLūz in and either connect it to your network via the RJ45 jack on the back, or via WiFi (WPA supported) if available. Then simply configure via the embedded web browser configuration utility. From here it’s a snap. Simply select your online banking institution from the list of supported banks (currently over 1600 are supported). Supply your login information and then select your favorite HATED charity or non-profit from the included lists (over 6200 currently supported). Then plug in your donation amount per snooze incident ($10 or more), set the time, and alarm, and voila, instant time profit!

But not every suggestion is a hit; most are ok, reasonable extensions, but in nearly every phrase I type in there is something hilarious. Take, for example, “learn to speak” which has the usual suspects Spanish, English, Italian, German, and the most unusual Gibberish:

If you ask me, it’s the most expressive language in the world

While most people want to learn to play a guitar, freestyle, or draw, little Johnny is learning to levitate objects:

With his mind, what else?

Americans love to sue you. They’ll do it for wrongful imprisonment, slander, or just about any kind of distress they can of, including tubal ligation failure:

I’d rather check her phone logs…

Ask’ers don’t know much about themselves, so naturally they don’t know if they are pregnant or not, as seen in this query for “how can i:”

Also, your dog is expecting!

A typo on “how do i find” led me to this gem of feng shui confusion:

Since when is this a verb?

I saved the best for last, which is the auto-complete results for “is it legal to,” a horrifying look into modern culture:

The answer is a categorical NO!

There’s an indication that this data is filtered–try starting lesbian, for example–so I’m not sure if I believe these results. My operating assumption is that this is a marketing gimmick to try and get some churn on the blogosphere and free PR. It wouldn’t be hard to drop in a single unlikely phrase to spice things up, now would it?

p.s., don’t type “how should I” or “can I sell my” or “ask me about” because they’re sophomoric. I bet Google’s users are equally idiotic, but they certainly don’t go out of their way to show that to us!